Rocketman: Long before Hub’s alarm went off, I had been tossing and turning. This was the day I had been dreading since this time last year. I have officially left my life-changing thirties behind and have somehow found myself middle-aged. I drifted back to sleep around 6:30- the time that Hubs and Rocketman usually walk out the door for school. I was awakened by the light screaming on and was about to fret to Hubs, but he stopped me. Someone wanted to give me something.
Sweet Rocketman with his fair freckled face and teeth growing in in every direction snuggled up to me and handed me a handmade card with a picture of a birthday cake on the front along with”Ha..Day Mom.” On the inside it said, “Have a marvlis meltpot birday Love Ben.” And there was a picture of me with my arms outstretched and him running to me smiling. There were also four quarters that I believe he earned from the tooth fairy inside.
But it was not over yet! He gave me a little bubble wrapped parcel in which I found a little toy sea horse- my favorite sea animal. It was a little worse for wear, as he had found it one Saturday morning in the parking lot of the hockey rink, but he had kept it secret once he identified it as the perfect gift for Mom. And it was.
Rocketman knew that I was having trouble with the idea of turning forty and continuously stated throughout the day: “I really want this to be a good day for you. I really want to make this the best birthday ever.” Sweet, compassionate, sincere Rocketman.
Bubba: I picked up Bubba from Pre-K and we drove to a home close by that had a sweet little lending library in the form of a bookshelf with doors (to protect from the elements) shaped like a house. An “Awesome House of Books” with a take a book- leave a book policy. I had followed the owner of the house on Facebook and she had posted a few times about a (stuffed) puppy that was so lonely and waiting for someone to come and take him home and be his reading buddy. Sure enough, the soft little Valentine puppy was still there. I told Bubba that he could pick just one book, and that we needed to be sure to bring one of the books we no longer used by the next time. I took one for Rocketman and one for myself. Bubba selected a Good Night Elmo book, which made me secretly rejoice because I feel like: as long as he still likes Elmo, he is still such a little boy. I pointed out the little stuffed friend and told Bubba he was lonely and needed a reading buddy. Bubba stared, bringing his arms straight down in front of him, fists clenched and opened his eyes wide. “Can I take him?!” After he promised to read to him and share him with his brother, Bubba went skipping to the car, snuggly little dog in hand, squeezing him up against his chest and declaring, “I love him, Mama, I love him so much! He’s just so cute! I’m going to read to him right now.” Nine hours later, between Bubba and Rocketman, Little Dog (named “Bubby” by Bubba and “Spot” by Rocketman…we decided that it’s fine for him to have two names) has been read to at least a dozen times. It’s the little things that make a big impression.
Zen moment: That was tough today. I tried so hard to stay present. I went for a facial this morning with a gift card I had actually received on my last birthday from my sister. Although the esthetician may have been a robot, the facial itself was very calming and relaxing. My linens were spritzed with lavender and there was quiet New Age music playing in the background. In addition to the actual facial, the robot esthetician rubbed my arms and hands and neck and I tried so very hard to focus on just relaxing and enjoying the moment, because pampering like this comes around once a year at best. But my mind would not SHUT UP. Instead, it traveled to every chore at home that needed to be done, the schedule for the week, next year’s school schedule for the kids, my rapidly aging dog…everywhere but the beautiful relaxing room with the scented sheets and music. Zen moments are not easy to come by for a person with anxiety. But I plan to continue my search day by day.
Something that made me laugh/smile: Snickers. He’s our new little kitten that I almost didn’t get- if Hubs had had the final say. We were in a terrible car accident in September and dealing with all the repercussions of that (including Rocketman not sleeping for four months), my sweet old cat, Pete, died in December. Snickers was a 6 month old shelter rescued kitten that I brought home in a wrapped gift box on December 23. And after spending the last 3 years with elderly pets, he has brought some fresh, new excitement to the home. And aside from the fact that he attacks my feet at 4 am no fail each morning, he is the sweetest and funniest little guy. But, my word, is he persistent. While I attempted to dismantle a rotisserie chicken, Snickers would hop up onto the table to help himself. I would scoop him up, say, “No!” and put him on the floor. At which point he would jump right up like a ping-pong ball and attempt to eat the chicken. This act repeated at least a half dozen times before I finally had enough sense to lock him in the kitchen as long as the chicken was out. Persistent little buggar made me laugh and laugh.
An act of kindness: Hub’s amazing decorating. I walked into the family room this morning to balloons flying everywhere, a happy birthday sign and table cloth, and two cards on the table. Hubs’ card was sweet and warm and just what I needed to hear as I realize that, yes, I am going through a bit of a rough patch. But at least I have him by my side cheering me on.
A moment to be thankful for: My three boys overjoyed to sing Happy Birthday to me, surrounded by balloons and carrying ice cream cake.
Today I’m feeling: Relief. Exhaustion. Satisfaction. Love.
RookieMama 
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